The world is moving quickly and changing fast. One year ago, in March 2020, most people had never heard of something called coronavirus; fast-forward to this March, and it has changed what we do and how we do it. Loved ones are suspect, depending on how they live their lives, people fight over mask vs. no mask, and something as simple as going out to dinner or the movies takes careful planning. In a short amount of time, many things we thought to be known and true have been upended. Many people are wondering what’s coming next and how they will prepare. They have a consistent underlying sense of anxiety about the unknown, and how the not-knowing can hurt them.
It’s right to take precautions. It’s important to listen to medical experts and take the steps you need to take to try and keep yourself and your loved ones safe, and it is fine to have a preparedness plan—especially if you live in areas often impacted by severe weather conditions. Stock up with some canned goods, map an escape route from your home, and create a communication plan for keeping in touch. Have a plan to help your kids know what to do to get out of the house in a fire, and have resources to care for your pets if you need to leave your home quickly and unexpectedly. All of these things are sound approaches and could serve you well in times of trouble.
What you don’t need to invest time and energy in is worrying about what’s coming next or losing sleep due to your anxiety over the what-ifs. You drain yourself in doing so, and unless you are taking practical steps to put a plan in place as in the examples outlined above, you waste energy by living in a constant state of turmoil, wondering and watching for what could be on the horizon. The ordinary person could likely not have predicted the fallout from COVID-19 and yet people have learned to do what they need to, and take the steps to care for themselves. If you had spent all of 2018 and 2019 worrying about it, unless you knew to stockpile toilet paper for the first few months, you’d still be in the same place as everyone else, dealing with what you need to.
The only time and place you really have to work with is now. The present. You’ve probably heard this many times, and maybe you’ve even read books on unwrapping your present—the present moment—but getting to a place where you live it, in each and every moment, is challenging for everyone. It seems as if the mind is wired to have only two directions—forward or backward. You’re either attached to the what-if and “when I” of tomorrow or you are focusing on the rearview mirror with the regrets and what-ifs of the past. Neither will get you anywhere. They don’t actually move you forward or backward; they keep you stuck and missing out on where you are right now. Enjoy what life is giving you in this very moment and taking in the senses, sounds, and experiences your present moment offers you.
It’s hard, but you can start to live more in your present if you pay attention on a regular basis to the go-forward, look-backward gear your mind prefers. You can choose to move the gear and put it in “park” for a bit. It takes being conscious and committed and turning your attention back consistently on what’s right here, not what’s over there.
Start to do this a few times a day. Give yourself 2-3 minutes in the morning, at noon, and in the evening. You could attach this to meals, right before you eat or as you sit down to eat. It could be when your kids are otherwise occupied or your spouse is working. Initially choose to put a time on your calendar. It sounds as if it defeats the purpose of just being in the now, but you have to train your brain somehow to shift out of go or reverse and back into park or neutral. Be intentional about it, and then you will find it comes more naturally over time.
In those 2-3 minutes, just become aware of your surroundings. How are you sitting in the chair? Are your hands or teeth clenched? Is your mind trying to pull you somewhere? Do you recognize something you have to jump up and run to do? Do you want to make a list or a plan? Or call someone? Or solve something? As much as you are able, just be aware of what’s happening to you during these moments of now-ness. Two or three minutes isn’t much when you have something important to do, but it will seem like an eternity when you are trying to do nothing other than staying aware! Even this acknowledgment should tell you something about how you constantly operate. Your mind is always pulling you this way and that; watch it stay still for even a short snippet of time.
THE BASICSFor most people, the deepest peace you will ever find is in the present moment. Staying present to it offers you possibilities for peace you likely would not have thought possible. And if you find, in your 2-3 minutes, that a crisis occurs, you will be more alert, and better able to act and respond. You will have your canned goods and your escape route, and you will stay present to what you need to do to stay safe. The only peace and safety that exist are in this present moment.
